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My New Year's Resolution

Jan. 11th, 2013 | 09:19 am
location: Philippines, National Capital Region,Quezon City, Quezon City

Last year, I didn't learn. That's why for my new year's resolution, I will. Learn. ^_^

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My "Me" Rules

Oct. 30th, 2012 | 08:46 am
location: Philippines, National Capital Region,Quezon City, Quezon City

This list will get longer as I think of new things to live by:

1. Unless I have an official meeting that I'm going to be late for, I will not ride a cab;

2. Unless there's a super sale on dresses (600 pesos or less), I will not buy clothes until I lose at least 10 pounds from my current weight;

3. I will strictly follow my face routine;

4. I will go to the gym at least 4 times a week, at least 2x of which shall be for at least 1 group exercise;

5. I will clean my room and maintain the cleanliness;

6. Talk to certain person only when necessary; no unneessary friendliness (I'm starting to realize that I really need to let go of negative emotions and to do that, I need to detach myself - which means I have to not be as friendly as I'm used to. I so hate being internally pissed off. I guess there really are dealbreakers among friends. I'm slowly learning what mine are);

7. xxx

I'm hoping that writing my list down will ensure my compliance.

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Self-disappointment's a B*tch

Mar. 13th, 2012 | 09:25 pm

Today was not a very good day... Not that it was bad. It's just that today marked the first time in maybe a long time that I've become disappointed in myself, and it's bothering me to the point that no amount of distractions (eating out with a close friend, reading fan fiction, getting a massage in Nuat Thai) can make me forget just how much my self-expectation has not been met.

Am not going into details because sadly, I'm not the type to divulge specifics. Point is, something happened that I knew should not have happened but I let it be. I LET IT HAPPEN. And I was too cautious to stop it. And that's what's sad about it. Because for me, it's worse to have done something wrong when you knew it was wrong, than to do something stupid because you were not aware of the negative sucks. And I'm hating on me right now for being the worse kind. It didn't help that I shut down when I realized my mistake. Which made things so much worse (at least in my book) because when I shut down, I have stage fright and suddenly, everything's all muddled up.

It also doesn't help that I was called on it... Now, I'm all for constructive criticism, but I'm feeling worse than bad because I knew what was wrong and I didn't stop it. It would have been easier on my conscience if I didn't know what was wrong when it happened. But yes, I knew. And am babbling because I feel so guilty and bad and I just want to let it out before the day ends.

At least I know now that I should fight when I think I need to fight and just throw aware my inhibitions... In short, I should trust my instincts and hold my ground... And start reading the rules of court again to boost my morale.

There, all better now. I will now sleep off the one-hour Swedish massage I just had because my back is starting to feel sore.

Yey! I'm feeling happier now. Thank you, fishbowl existence... <3

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On being lonely

Oct. 5th, 2011 | 02:47 pm

So I'm here.

I haven't really written anything in like, forever. Would like to make school, the bar and then work as excuses to my inattention to this journal. Technically, they are. But really, if I wanted to, I would still write. Long ramblings on anything and everything. But I didn't. Oh well.

Moving on, it's been 4 days since I arrived in Canada. it was pretty cold at first, the kind of cold that seeped through your clothes and made you shake involuntarily, like Korea in February (which I do not want to experience ever again. I was born in a tropical country; I plan on staying in one). However, by the 2nd day, it was pretty hot and my fantasies of walking in the park everyday were shattered because I got sunburned and will not go out again until the sting stops. So much for exercising.

So why am I in Canada? To visit relatives. More specifically, to accompany my grandma so that she could visit her son (aka, my tito). I would have been one happy camper watching Arashi's variety shows and my backlog of tv series had I not so inconveniently forgotten to bring my netbook's charger. I brought the netbook all the way her just so I could stare at it and wish that it was actually solar-powered (why aren't there any pcs that are powered by the sun? That would be sooo much more convenient - except when you're living in any of the poles).

So now I'm left here for 22 days with basically nothing to do that I had so joyously planned beforehand. Well, except for exercising, which I don't think I can do for the whole day.

It's lonely. Lonely because I don't have anything I particularly want to do, to do. Lonely because I don't have anyone to really talk to. Lonely because the people I can talk to are thousands of miles away and have a 12-hour time difference from me. It's just lonely.

And when you're lonely, you suddenly feel the difference between being alone and being lonely. I'm all for being alone. I can spend one week by myself and still not feel bored. But being lonely is totally different. I feel bored, restless, and my mind tends to wander.

I'm going to stop here. Not because I have nothing to say (I have a lot to talk about), but because it is hard to spill your guts in writing using the qwerty touch screen of an iPod touch.

Will return to show some pictures later.

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sem break starts... now!

Oct. 29th, 2008 | 07:19 pm
location: net caf
mood: thoughtful thoughtful

actually, 2 days ago :P

at exactly 12 midnight last october 27 (technically, it was october 28 already), after 17 hours in school (yes, you read it right. 17. SEVENTEEN), my 1st sem in my 3rd year in law school has officially ended.

YEHEY!

not that there's a lot to rejoice about....

let me sum up my 1st semester in one word:

SUCKY.

so i guess having mock trials as my last finals was something to make such a bleak semester seem brighter.

a mock trial as a final exam was a pretty nice experience... i mean it was pretty nerve-wracking... i started law school with the idea of being more of a research-based lawyer.... meaning no litigation work, no "objection, your honor!" kinda thing... so i was pretty thrown off by an oral final examination that was all about litigating and "arguing" with the opposing counsel...

but it turned out okay... after 6 hours of waiting for our turn to come, more than 2 hours of moot court seemed pretty short... shout out to my team mates arianne, kaye, fifi and patch for doing a super job... and i'll forever be indebted to our two witnesses noel and rob for giving up their sunday night and whole monday just to be the two extremely handsome and tall witnesses our case required...

fun, fun october 27 day (except maybe for the 17hours in school thing. with 5 groups and more than 2 hours per group, it was a LONG day)...

anyway, my end of sem resolution is when i survive this first semester (nov4 is the judgment day), i promise to

1. buy a rules of court codal
2. study. as in STUDY.


hohoho, as usual pray for me guys.

rant time (and selling time :P)

Sep. 22nd, 2008 | 07:39 pm
location: room sweet room
mood: annoyed annoyed
music: haru haru - big bang

I AM NOT A SIZE 7.... just because people my height have size 7 feet does not mean i'm also a size 7.... in fact i'm a size 6.... so please stop assuming i'm a size 7!!!


moving on....

i'm selling a copy of twilight for 300 pesos... it's new but a little rough on the edges (literally)... haven't read it yet, but my mom bought a copy in the airport a few hours after my brother gave me one... so now i'm selling one ^_^

new moon

Jun. 3rd, 2008 | 06:10 pm
location: room sweet room
mood: cheerful cheerful
music: wind beneath my wings by bette midler

yesterday, i finished reading the sequel to twilight.... it wasn't so bad... actually, i enjoyed reading it.... not so much cheesiness (probably because when edward reappeared, the book was almost halfway done....).....

hmmmm, it kinda reminded me of harry potter book 2, i felt like i read a filler.... a good filler, mind you, but a filler nonetheless... although thinking back, book 2 wasn't really a filler FILLER because it turned out that the apex of the story was connected to the subsequent books.... so maybe that's what stephenie meyer did in new moon....

anyway, my elementary classmates and i had a reunion of sorts in promenade, greenhills last may 29... i brought along some pictures, and my friend hana took a picture of the pictures i brought, one of which was this:



can you guess which one i am? keke this was taken i think in kindergarten... in my old school, JASMS, we don't usually change sections, so if you've been classmates since nursery, then you're basically stuck with each other until 6th grade kekeke.... the person i'm with is rachelle, one of my closest friends in my earlier years.... unfortunately, she wasn't able to come to our little gathering....

here we are now:


(clockwise from top left: hannah, miel, me, hana, bert, sarah, jason, phine, and jezrel)


(from left: hana, sarah, me, miel, jason and jezrel)


hana, sarah and me ^_^ sugar plum group (yucky, i can't believe i'm divulging our barkada name :P our other two groupies, lovely and rachelle couldn't come)

two days later (may 31), my high school classmates (techno people) had a reunion of our own to celebrate 10 years of friendship (and mayhem :P)...


(clockwise from far left: rachelle, jihan, kat-kat, andrea (seated), ploplo, phillip (seated), lyka, me, divine, mai and dianne)


(from left: lyka, me, mp (being all gooey and sweet :P) and melissa)


(clockwise from left: jessen, me, jihan, kat-kat, melissa, andrea, divine, dianne, rj and mai)

thanks to lyka for uploading her pics!!! ^_^

well, that's all... will post some pictures again since my net is being all friendly and fast on me kekeke ^_^

the signs were right in front of me but alas...

Jun. 2nd, 2008 | 12:42 am
location: room sweet room
mood: contemplative contemplative
music: 비밀 (Secret) by kim dong wan

i was too preoccupied to take notice of them....

so i've just read twilight... so i loved it.... so i googled it....

and what do i find?

that it's actually followed by 3 more books.... the last one still to be released... and a movie's in the works (or is it finished already?)....

what's bothering me is that i've known about twilight since last year and i haven't really paid much attention to it.... blame it on law school and the fact that no one's actually lent me a copy (until now).... but my law friends have been hinting about it to me since i can't remember when.... poor poor loser me.....

about the movie.... errrr.... is it just me or are the cast really not that good looking..... well, at least not good looking enough for me to be dazzled by them... anyway's excited about the movie...

and a new book... wow... i was thinking of buying twilight  asap, but since there happens to be a new book coming out .... i'm contemplating on whether i should wait for its release and then buy the whole series in one go.... or do a piece meal thing.... is two months too long a wait?

twilight...

Jun. 1st, 2008 | 10:14 pm
location: room sweet room
mood: hyper hyper
music: the rose by bette midler

wow, i haven't posted for a long time.... time flew by so fast that before i knew it, it's already been 31 weeks since i wrote anything in here....

will not bore anyone with a recap of the last 31 weeks of my life... most parts of it i have already buried deep down in my (very)subconscious (is there i a word?).... suppression is best if you're living a fish bowl existence....

but moving on....  i just finished reading twilight  by stephenie meyer..... and i must say..... it was like reading roswell..... small town.... high school... normal girl who happens to be saved through impossible means by a not so human guy.... who happens to be drop dead gorgeous.... girl falls in love with guy.... who also happens to have fallen in love with her even before she did.... guy's secret is revealed.... and girl has entered a whole new world, with danger and romance lurking (and even hunting)....

the book certainly brought me back to my early teen years, when i was obsessed with buffy and roswell.... while some kids enjoyed watching dawson's creek (i want to hurl just thinking about that series), i favored something more on the occult side... i guess that's why twilight appealed to me.... the supernatural, vampires and forbidden love rock!!!

the book was a little cheesy though.... once they started being physically gooey with each other, the pick-up line-like statements started coming in.... one such statement that particularly made me stop reading to just laugh away all the corniness that the line evoked was: "Bring on the shackles - I'm your prisoner." i know, i know, it doesn't seem to be that cheesy, but if you read the context (it's on page 302 of the book, upper left part - i memorized the area of the page where i read it kekeke), it so very is (yucky, that sounded so wrong and non-english)....

anyhoo, cheesiness aside i really loved the book... i'll probably buy my own copy when i go to a bookstore next time.... the only thing that bothered me was when the lead girl, bella, started nagging edward (i am sooo going to name my son after him) about turning her into one of them.... i was mentally screaming that if edward turned bella into a vampire, that that would ruin the book for me FOREVER..... i almost had a heart attack when bella was badly hurt and near death (or so it seemed) or when she was with edward at their prom.... i thought that if she did become a vampire at the end of the book, then that would have been the most cliche non-ending in the entire universe (of course i'm exaggerating)....

so there.... twilight.... i'm going to read new moon in a while... after the euphoria of reading twilight has disappeared (or at least faded)....

THINGS I'M CURRENTLY ADDICTED TO:

1. double-breasted pea coats (i'm on a buying frenzy even though the only thing i want to wear in this weather is a wifebeater and shorts!!)
2. the color RED
3. mister donut bavarian donuts
4. roswell (just finished rewatching the first two seasons.... the third one kinda sucked so i didn't want to torment myself by bothering with it)
5. american idol season 7 (david cook!!!!)
6. sophie kinsella's can you keep a secret? (i think i've read it thrice already.... this summer alone)
7. bette midler songs (i'm watching her live perfs in youtube, and i dunno what started it... maybe it was her the rose song? and did you guys know that that song was actually part of a soundtrack of a movie of the same name which she starred in, and which was loosely based on the life of janis joplin, who i don't really know, but will probably research on later (meaning tonight)?)
8. stephenie meyer's twilight ^_^ i think this is going to be my next harry potter :P

Beyond Expectations.... Not!!! T_T

Oct. 27th, 2007 | 08:13 am
location: home sweet home
mood: blah blah
music: too little too late - jojo

Gosh, it feels like forever since i wrote in here... been really busy....

It's my 2nd day of "freedom"... no cases to read, no codal provisions to memorize... it's so liberating the minute i stepped out of my property law prof's office after an oral exam... although i DID NOT do well on that exam, just the fact that that was my last test made me grin from ear to ear...

But i guess time flies when you're having fun... some grades are out and i just have to say... it's a happy moment when you surpass your low expectations, but it's another thing to have your low expections turn into reality... i guess that's why i'm so disappointed right now... just goes to show that even if you say grades don't matter, they still do... especially if it means staying in school or flunking out....

i'm dreading getting the rest of my grades T_T



Pray for me please...